I know how you feel Mikey Psycho. I feel exactly the same way. It is a choice between light and some level of happiness. I spend my life in darkness and I am starting to lose all sense of day and night. Today for example, I went out for just one hour this morning and then came back inside and closed all the curtains. I ended up falling asleep and woke up an hour ago thinking it was the following morning. It took me a whole hour to realise that it was actually evening. Now I intend to stay up all night doing things I can't do during the day, so I can sleep some of tomorrow.